These Advice shared by A Father Which Helped Me as a First-Time Dad

"I think I was just just surviving for the first year."

Ex- reality TV star Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the demands of becoming a dad.

However the truth rapidly turned out to be "completely different" to what he pictured.

Life-threatening health issues during the birth caused his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Suddenly he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver as well as taking care of their baby boy Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every nappy change… each outing. The role of mother and father," Ryan stated.

Following 11 months he burnt out. It was a talk with his parent, on a public seat, that helped him see he needed help.

The simple words "You're not in a good spot. You must get some help. How can I support you?" paved the way for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and find a way back.

His story is commonplace, but seldom highlighted. Although society is now more comfortable discussing the pressure on moms and about postpartum depression, less is said about the struggles new fathers go through.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to request support'

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a broader reluctance to talk among men, who often hold onto negative ideas of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just gets smashed and remains standing every time."

"It isn't a display of being weak to seek help. I failed to do that fast enough," he adds.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health surrounding childbirth, notes men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can believe they are "not justified to be requesting help" - particularly in front of a mum and baby - but she highlights their mental health is just as important to the family.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad provided him with the space to take a break - taking a couple of days overseas, outside of the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He understood he had to make a adjustment to focus on his and his partner's emotions as well as the day-to-day duties of looking after a newborn.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she was yearning" -physical connection and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has changed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now penning Leo weekly letters about his journey as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and understand his parenting choices.

The concept of "reparenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Despite having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, deep-held emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their connection.

Stephen says repressing feelings led him to make "bad actions" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, turning in substance use as a way out from the hurt.

"You turn to things that are harmful," he says. "They might short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Getting By as a New Dad

• Share with someone - if you feel overwhelmed, tell a friend, your other half or a therapist what you're going through. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Remember your hobbies - keep doing the activities that allowed you to feel like the person you were before having a baby. This might be playing sport, socialising or gaming.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - nutritious food, getting some exercise and where possible, getting some sleep, all are important in how your emotional health is coping.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - sharing their stories, the difficult parts, and also the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the optimal method you can care for your loved ones.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the death, having been out of touch with him for years.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead provide the stability and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking the feelings out" together - managing the emotions constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they acknowledged their issues, changed how they communicate, and learned to manage themselves for their children.

"I'm better… sitting with things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I wrote, on occasion I think my role is to guide and direct you how to behave, but actually, it's a exchange. I am discovering an equal amount as you are in this journey."